"Don't hit me with that board like I was some kind of dolphin."

Found, obviously, in the feedback from this guy on eBay.

Dates back to 1999, so may be old to some of you (hell, it's old to me and I hadn't seen it before), but this collection of this guy's random feedback on eBay is well worth reading.

It's particularly interesting to see the variety of responses to his feedback - most people respond with "Who is this guy? Ignore him - he's just fooling around, I don't know, I haven't dealt with him", but some people are cool enough to play along.

Found on uknot, incidentally.