Undated

Latest culprit: the BBC, and to some degree Warranty Direct.

Bomb fails to go off.

They're full of junk food, because a US government programme to aid agribusiness makes schools a dumping ground for dodgy end-of-life produce that couldn't otherwise be sold. Meanwhile, learning nothing from the new pneumonia that is resistant to all known antibiotics, the meat industry wants to pasteurise all meat to avoid having to remove the e.coli.

The French don't understand this.

Involving dogs and books - but, thankfully, not both at the same time.

As you play, the computer gets smarter…

"Mosienko still casting a daunting shadow across the sport of pelvic power-lifting."

"You might keep diamonds made from his ashes. You could keep an urn of ashes or ashes blended in with glass. Or, you can keep an Intimate Memento – You can now have the most private, intimate parts of him that he shared with you - preserved to last forever."

Compare that to football chairmen declaring their "total support" for the manager.

Go away, moderates - we all hate you.