Found in someone else's livejournal, The story about the baby. It's this guy's musings about his kid. Sample quote:
"I can think of a bad reason to have children. You shouldn't have a child in order to dry it out and sell it as an aphrodisiac for Asian businessmen."
As Cleodhna mentioned, I used to believe is a great time waster. It's people's recollections of the weird things they used to believe when they were kids. One of my favourites:
"I believed that the inside of a tomato was a small, living creature and I flatly refused to eat that bit."
Open Decks was a blast yesterday. The guy before me was doing all the fancy stuff with vinyl, slowing down one of the records or spinning it backwards to line up the tempo, all impressive stuff, and you couldn't hear the joins unless you were looking at the decks. I realised, though, that the reason he could mix the stuff together so well was that it was all the same tempo and key. It must be a British Standard Rhythm for DJs. So after half an hour of it we were all thoroughly bored of it.
My set started with Moondance by Van Morrison. Cut into South Park's Unclefucker. Cut into Madonna's Like A Virgin. Applause from the Gugs crowd, and a perfect antidote to the previous guy's posturings. Brian followed up with a set entirely composed of songs about fucking.
My mother is currently in hospital, having had part of her small bowel cut out. She went in on Friday and was operated on on Saturday. When she was admitted, the doctor asked her when she'd last been in hospital. The last times were, she recalled, a few months ago when she broke her arm, a few years ago when she had treatment for her bee sting allergies, and (points at me at that point) "when I had him." She's damn healthy. (And doing fine now, I understand - going over to see her this afternoon.)
