There's nothing inherently quotable, but any self-respecting human should read the fantastically named Molly J Ringraith's
parodies of The Two Towers and The Return of the King. (Fellowship of the Ring is forthcoming.) Warning: it's slightly slash-tastic. Via Andrew Ducker.
Incidentally, if for some reason you have deprived of your sentience by court order in the recent month, or maybe you were kidnapped by a ravening gang of mutant were-manatees and have only recently managed to manufacture a rope out of your pubic hair and escape, or if for any other reason you have not seen the films - well, see them first.
