I learn from Gareth that Christians are opening up a nudist colony in Tampa, Florida:
"The Bible very clearly states that when Adam and Eve were in right with God, they were naked," said David Blood, executive director of the project.
Look: I'm a liberal (US) / Liberal (UK). I support nudist camps, and I think a lot of the things the people promoting the "Natura" resort (snappy name) have done are right.
But, for crying out loud, if you want to be modern and naked, don't be a Christian. Or a Jew, for that matter. I mean, read Scripture (Genesis, chapter 3, verses as indicated, King James translation):
- And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
- And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
- And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
- And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
- And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
- And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
- And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
- And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
(Recriminations...)
- And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
- Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
Let's summarise this even more (remember, people like Mr David Blood - oh, what an unfortunate name for a religious nudist - may well believe this to be actually, historically true). I may have got some of the more arcane theological points wrong, but I believe the narrative is roughly as I described it.
- God says "Do not eat of the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge".
- Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.
- With the knowledge acquired, they realise they're naked.
- God realises what has happened; Adam blames it on Eve, Eve blames it on the serpent.
- God curses them severely.
- God realises that Adam and Eve know good and evil.
- To avoid them obtaining godhood, he banishes them.
Adam and Eve were only both naked and "in right with God" before they ate the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. From thence onwards, nakedness was bad. If you're a Christian, and you you wish to be publicly naked and approved by God, you must therefore be completely and utterly amoral. You must have no idea of Good or Evil. At all. You must attempt to recreate within yourself the intellectual framework of pre-fruit Adam and Eve, inasmuch as that is possible.
Oh, and you'll have no friends, apart from those others who have mastered the same mental feat.
It aims to provide a "wholesome, safe, family oriented, nude environment" to counter the evils, including sexual abuse, it says results from "body shame".
You jackass! Your entire religion is based upon body shame resulting in intellectual and moral enlightenment!
According to Scripture, it is actually literally (yes, I use the word the way it was supposed to be used) inconceivable that anyone could be moral, nude, happy, and Christian. To say that such a thing is possible is to directly contradict God's pronouncements in Genesis.
Christian nudist camps. That's like Muhammed appearing in a hall of mirrors promo video on MTV. It just does not make sense.
