Feminists are apparently complaining about phallic symbols. I'm not too bothered about the fact that they're complaining - after all, this is from the Harvard Crimson Online, the Harvard University journal, and some jocks did recently build a giant 9 foot penis made of snow (third photo) in a public place. The feminists dismantled it fairly soon, with notably the aid of a cardboard tube, which is presumably why Penny Arcade linked to it. (They have a thing about cardboard tubes: origin story, fight against game-hoarding old Chinese guys, beating up kids, just kind of there, part of a super-hero outfit, destroyer of huge alien things.)
But I digress. You can go on about how they're taking things too seriously - I mean, members of hockey team pull prank on campus, film at 11 - but the thing that annoyed me was the following:
She said the snow penis follows a long line of public phallic symbols, including the Washington Monument and missiles.
Now, the Washington Monument, maybe. But missiles? They're not long and thin because they're supposed to look like penises. They're long and thin because that's how they can travel through the air really fast.
I mean, there's almost nothing phallic about a missile when you actually think about it for a second. Missiles are designed to sit around doing nothing for a long time (OK, so far we've got a similarity, but bear with me), then eventually, once they're used, they detach themselves from the earth and fly off at great speed, until they hit something, at which point they explode.
Now, I can guarantee that any guy reading this, and then thinking "hey, maybe my penis is like a missile?" will almost immediately shudder and think about other things. If they're missile designers, if anything, they'll make their stuff look less like a penis. I mean, and I may be going out on a limb here, most men do not want their penis to detach itself and explode. It's a matter of pride here.
No, the feminists may be right about phallic symbols, but missiles aren't one of them. Now pneumatic drills, on the other hand...