"Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent"

For some reason, people have started taking Harry Potter and turning it into pornography. A few days ago I saw a list of Potter quotations on jwz’s journal, with the word “wand” replaced with “wang” - better by far than that list of Star Wars quotes where you replace a random word with pants (e.g. “R2, get us out of these pants, they’re gonna get us both killed!”)

Now, someone has assembled a collection of out-of-context quotes from the Order of the Phoenix. Some of them are dubious, some of them are only dodgy if you approach them with the attitude that they could, but some are fairly clearly, well, ambiguous, to put it nicely. For instance: ‘“What did he do to you, Diddy? […] Was it– was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use– his thing?”’

Still, it could be worse. In 1994 I moved into a flat with Shaun and others, and re-read the Narnia books for the first time in ages. Now, on re-reading them, I realised a couple of things. The first thing was they were blatant religious parables (I’d missed that when I was younger); the second was the unfortunate modern connotations, in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, of the word “beaver”. Completely spoiled it for me.