What is Britain, you ask? Let me tell you

It's 4am on a Sunday before a Bank Holiday, and I've been telling myself for about an hour now that I should go to bed, but I Have The Internet and it keeps on sucking me in, Just One More Click, and I was playing around with Google Earth, trying to remember which city it was that supposedly has more canals than Venice, and I typed in "Birmingham", swore when it took me to that American Birmingham, typed in "Birmingham UK", got to the right place, zoomed in, couldn't see many canals, Googled "more canals than Venice", and found this gem of a comment (no direct URL - search for MrPikeBishop) which is exactly what being British is all about:

"Now whilst I have no problem with those in the midlands speaking in their pigeon English"

It's "pidgin" you illiterate southern ponce.

Sadly, according to xyzzy, it appears that Birmingham has more canals than Venice because Birmingham is much, much larger.

The article that spawned this comment thread is worth reading too. For instance:

5. Birmingham has more miles of canals than Venice and more trees than Paris. But, unfortunately for the canals and trees, they are in Birmingham and not Venice or Paris. This makes them all quite sad.